About Me

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Hi! My name is Connie. I love to write short stories, poems, novel drafts, blurbs, pretty much anything (even research papers). I've written my first novel titled "Me & Eryn Carlo" and editing is in the works! While the book is being groomed and tweaked I hope you enjoy the short stories I've posted here on My Writer's Block. Some are fun - some are quirky - some are just plain strange. Constructive criticism is highly valued. Thanks for stopping by. Your views mean so much to me!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

About Mitch Albom's "For One More Day" ...

Trying something different today. :)

I recently read "For One More Day" by Mitch Albom. I have to say I was impressed with Albom's writing skills and storytelling abilities.

Normally I'm not the book review type but I wanted to write about this book in particular because it really touched my heart.

My synopsis of the book:

"For One More Day" delves into a mother and son's relationship. Charley "Chick" Benetto was a young boy when his father spoke words he would never forget: "You can be a mama's boy or you can be a daddy's boy, but you can't be both."  Chick always received what he needed and wanted from his mother who was all too happy to love. But Chick was eager to win his father's approval, love, and praise which was not easy to obtain. Chick does everything he can for his father. He swiftly became the daddy's boy. 

When Chick is 11 his father leaves the family. He is embarrassed to have divorced parents - which was definitely not the norm in those days.

Chick struggles - he struggles with his mother because he doesn't understand what she has gone through to raise Chick and his sister. Years later, Chick is a man that has given up. His being is shattered into pieces and he cannot get passed the alcohol and regret following his mother's death. His life crumbles - it's broken.

In the midst of trying to kill himself Chick miraculously sees his mother - he is gifted with one more day to spend with his mother. One day to learn about her and what she endured after Chick's father left. Chick remembers times he did not stand up for his mother and he recognizes that she stood up for him multiple times over.

With this one precious, God-given day will Chick be able to forgive himself? Piece his life back together?

(An additional synopsis and reviews can also be found on Amazon: Mitch Albom's "For One More Day")

While reading "For One More Day" I surfed through a tumultuous wave of emotions.

It was a quick read but the many sensations Albom integrates into his words are heavy and permeating.

I felt wistful. Depressed. Angry. Hurt. Sad. Lonely. Faithless. I experienced, through Chick Benetto, what its like to simply give up on your life - to give up on you - to let regret take over your body and soul. On the other end of the spectrum, I also felt grateful. Lucky. Empathetic. Glad.

I think what disturbed me the most was how real the story felt. I wonder how many people suffer similar situations. 

In the end, after crying too many times to count, I loved this piece from Albom. It reminded me how precious loved ones are. It shook me by the shoulders and yelled that time will not always be on my side.

Don't waste what you have. Don't waste the present which in itself is a gift. And be sure to mind your words, specifically the cruel ones. You may not know how your words will effect when you speak them but the person who receives their sharpness will feel it all the way through. 

Lastly, I learned from Chick and his mother's story that you should never assume that you truly know what a person has gone through or what sacrifices they have made.

My favorite quotes from the book and their corresponding page numbers are as follows:

  • "One day can bend your life..." (Pg 4)
  • "What is it about childhood that never lets you go, even when you're so wrecked it's hard to believe you ever were a child." (Pg 16)
  • "She had a bottomless well of love for me. Her only flaw was that she didn't make me work for it." (Pg 33)
  • "I don't know what it is about food your mother makes for you, especially when it's something that anyone can make - but it carries a certain taste of memory." (Pg 60)
  • "A child embarrassed by his mother - is just a child who hasn't lived long enough." (Pg 90)
  • "And I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know." (Pg 174)
  • "Sticking with your family is what makes it a family." (Pg 183)
  • "You can find something truly important in an ordinary minute." (Pg 193)
  • "One day spent with someone you love can change everything." (Pg 197)

If you read or have read "For One More Day" I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts.

Thanks for reading.

Much love!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

"You are Anita" ~ Short Story

In need of a break from my book – I turned yet again to A Writer's Book of Days: A Spirited Companion and Lively Muse for the Writing Life (by Judy Reeves) for a new writing prompt to give my imagination a jolting jump start.
Here is the chosen one! You’re in a hotel room.
Not much to it but that’s even better – gives more room for you to play! :)
I’ve titled this story You are Anita and I hope you can truly experience how Anita feels.
_______________________________________________________________________
Imagine, for a moment, that you are Anita.
You’re in a hotel room.
Your hair is in curls and set into a hypnotizing up-do. Stray ringlets frame your face.
Diamond studs rest on your ears instantly drawing attention to your high cheekbones with their sparkle.
Voyeuristic eyes will then drift from the curls to the earrings down to your lips blanketed by a frosted cherry red shade.
Hazel eyes are shadowed and lined. A face painted. A body set.
This is what your life is.
You’re in a hotel room waiting for today’s selection.
Today’s man.
Today’s appointment.
Always taking one and then moving on to the next.
You suppose it could be worse. You could be a lower class prostitute. But no – that’s not you.
You’re not just a desperate hooker.
You have class. Elegance. You’re not abused or cheaply paid. You’re well taken care of and given the finest gifts, whatever necessity you require to stay beautiful and happy.
To keep you performing impeccably.
You’re needed – wanted – demanded.
You cover your smooth skin in luxurious lingerie and shelter it with a flowing baby pink satin robe, its ends drift lightly across the floor as you walk.
A light, romantic scent is spritzed onto your throat, wrists, and chest. A scent that includes vanilla and gardenia and lavender hints that cloud the senses.
Before walking out to the balcony you poor a glass of scotch – it accustoms your lifestyle.
Sipping its flavor and savoring its personality you lean forward, resting against the imprisoning railing. The ocean rages and the wind disrupts your calm, protective robe.
From your penthouse suite you have a panoramic view of the strip across from the water.
The room was decorated in contemporary grays and crisp whites. This wasn’t a room for comfort – it was a room for business. Quick, predetermined business.
The sun was setting. The last rays of light encourage a shine on your skin. The electrifying nightlife would soon come to life.
The world outside is so foreign to you. The hotel room is your safe haven.
You check the time.
The tap on the door sets you in motion.
You let the half glass of liquid slip down your throat and burn a path throughout your body.
Louboutin heels adorn your delicate feet - the newest endowment from a regular.
Two hours later you’re again silent in the hotel room. Alone once more. Breathing normally. Your internal weeping is through and you refill the glass for warmth.
After all – this is your life. This is what you chose. A life spent – trapped – in a hotel room. You are Anita.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Bullied - A Short Story

I discovered a writing prompt in A Writer's Book of Days: A Spirited Companion and Lively Muse for the Writing Life (by Judy Reeves) that immediately made me think of the upcoming Bullying Awareness Week.

Bullying Awareness Week is November 13-19, 2011 and the bold theme is "Stand up! (to bullying)."

Learn more at www.bullyingawarenessweek.org

The writing prompt is: Write what happened between one moment and the next.

Here is "Bullied."

Being popular was like being on top of the world. You're untouchable as long as you keep status. If you were hot or had money or were popular by means of relation or association - it didn't matter - you were better than everyone else. I was captain of the senior football team. Good looking, smart, I had all of the newest technology, I loved to drink and hang out with my friends and the hottest girls in school. 

Senior year. It was exciting. It was a roller coaster.

That was then.

This is now.

I'm gay. I have felt this way for as long as I could remember but afraid to tell anyone since society's traditions dictate that it is wrong. It's allowed but its "not how its supposed to be."

My best friend and I were kicking it at a party after we won the homecoming football game. Everyone of importance was there. Everyone was trashed. My girlfriend and I had made out till she passed out upstairs. I continued to make my rounds with the people though. I had to keep my status strong.

While my friend and I sat talking he went on and on about how we'll always be friends. "No matter what" he said. No matter what, I thought to myself.

I was afraid but I told him. I came out and said, "I'm gay." Who would understand and accept me as I am outside of my family? My best friend of course! I was so confident he would be on my side.

And I couldn't have been more wrong.

He jumped away from me as if I were covered in some repulsive skin disease. He was disgusted by me - me, his best friend.

"Gay?!" He screamed it at the top of his lungs. Everyone at the party stopped to stare. The music was shut off.

I tried to get him to lower his voice but instead he grew louder and ridiculed me. People laughed. They pointed. They threw cups of beer or whatever they could find right at me. At me.

I was dragged out, beaten, called a "fag" or "fruitcake." I had become the weak, the lowly, the unworthy.

That was then.

This is now.

I used to have small fears. Fear of failing a test. Fear of losing the big game. Fear of not getting invited to the best parties. Fear of not hooking up with the most popular girls. Fear of not being able to keep my status rising high as girl-magnet, football captain, and homecoming King.

Now I fear bullying words. I fear school and the taunting. I fear the looks and the whispers. Sometimes I wish I would've kept up with my ruse - did what everyone expected of me.

The pain is so great at times. So great I cant bring myself to talk to my parents. So great that all I want is peace - a way out.

I fear the cruelty of my schoolmates, my "friends," that used to be my number one fans.

Maybe I should leave. Run away.

Maybe I should just die. I want the hurt to go away, to subside as did my life before I confessed who I really am.

I need help. Can't anyone see that?

I need someones help...

Friday, November 4, 2011

New Short Story: No More Cars

I admit this is a strange one but it was created from a wacky dream I had a couple nights ago. Wacky dream = wacky story. Lucky for me, one of the beauties of writing is that anything is possible. And without further ado (in my best announcer's voice), at a fresh 1,061 words, I give you "No More Cars!" :) Hope you enjoy!

“I relive that day often. It was surreal. Unbelievable. Unexplained. The day our cars … well … left. I know it sounds crazy. This occurred all over the country 25 years ago. Before it all happened, economies were booming and citizens here in America were truly beginning to thrive. People were motivated again to reach the American Dream. But, at the same time, people everywhere were extremely careless. Their indifference towards our planet grew which goes to show you – people truly only care about themselves; selfishness reigns first and foremost.”

The old man scoffed. “Our cars gave up on us! Cars! Brainless, soulless vehicles! They … they’re gone. Vehicles used for centuries wiped from our history.” He rocked back and forth to sooth himself. “If you’d like to restrain me in a straight jacket I understand. You wouldn’t be the first person that thought I was certifiably insane.” The scoff had turned into a loud crazy chuckle.

“No sir. I believe you.” The young reporter watched the old man’s face while the tape recorder on the table took in every noise and word from their conversation. He was going to get this story. The one story no one ever spoke about. The event that had “never happened.” An anonymous tip, it was a suspicious mailing, had lead the reporter to believe that the rumor was true; that there were such things as ‘cars.’ He grew up on public transportation as the only option for travelling. The mailing told him otherwise. Photographs labeled “Cars” filled the envelope. One small post-it note was stuck to the last photograph of a man, who appeared to be in his mid-40s, and a little boy, just a toddler. They leaned against a polished black Camaro, the boy held protectively in the man’s arms. A name was scrawled on the dull yellow note: Richard Haze.

The young man held the envelope, tight in his grip, safe on his lap.

“Please continue, Mr. Haze.”

“I’d like a cigarette first.”

The reporter lit a cigarette for each of them.

After taking a long drag and exhaling smoke rings, the old man continued. “The cars moved toward the main river that steered toward the falls – there was no willing them to cease their operations. We no longer had control. They were like robots; minds of their own they had, with no care for the beings they carried or traveled over. I was a police officer at the time and our force was at a loss. There was no solution. Cars that were out of gas were running. Cars without tires. Smashed cars from junkyards. What was there to do? Nothing! We had folks running around trying to shoot the tires or remove them – anything to make the cars stop moving.” He smoked the cigarette straight down to the filter and grabbed another.

“Nothing stopped the cars. Nothing. People were dying. Some died trying to help others but that was a small group indeed. Many drowned in their cars because they couldn’t get out in time. Some were pushed over the great falls where cars piled into a huge mass. People were run over. It was chaotic. Bizarre. Nightmarish. Something like that couldn’t have ever been imagined or brought to life in a story. It was real and yet unreal. You don’t see cars anywhere now, do you son.” The question was rhetorical.

The reporter kept his composure even though he was greatly disturbed by the man’s interpretation of the event that, according to their government, never transpired. His emotions were so real – as if he had been there. He claims he was there, though.  He battled truth against falsehood in his mind. Had the event been so humiliating for this world that it had to be erased from our history, taken from our past, hidden from the public? How many others were there?

The old man rephrased his question. “You see there are no more cars, right? There are NO … MORE … CARS!” He screamed out of frustration and then began to whimper. He cried for what felt like a long while but the young man just watched the misery, observing the hurt and emotion.

“Why do you care anyways?” The old man lifted his wet face from the protection of his large, rough hands.

The young report wiped his eyes. “Because I wanted to know what pulled my father away from me.”

“Who’s your father, kid?”

“You are, sir.”

The old man stood. “I … I have kids?” His face became sad and ashamed. He was embarrassed.

“Just one.” The reporter approached his father. “Dad, it’s me, Jimmy. Jimmy Haze. It took me a long time to get here. It took me even longer to get my head out of my butt to find out what exactly happened to you. I’m sorry I had abandoned you. As far back as I can remember I was raised in a foster home. I dreamt about you every night. I knew you were someone significant in my life – possibly my real father. And … well, that’s all in the past. Here I am. After hearing your story and what happened to you, I can see how it took a toll on your psyche. I just don’t understand how something like this, something this significant, could be covered up. How and why? And – who sent me these pictures?”

He handed the envelope to his father, the Mr. Richard Haze. The old man’s fingers trembled as he sifted through the photos. But the last one, the last photo remained in his hands. He knew that photo. He knew those people … and that car.

“Dad. I’ll be back for you tomorrow. We’ll go home.”

The old man continued to stare at the photo.  “Home?”

“Yes. Just me and you like I’ve always dreamed. Before everything happened.” With that he hugged his dad and knocked to be let out of the stark white visitor’s room. The sterile room with thickly padded walls.

“And Dad?” He called from the doorway.

Richard’s tired face looked up. “Yeah?”

“We’re going to tell this story. Your story. I promise you that.”

The door closed and automatically locked.

The old man simply stared out of the narrow long window, his hands flat against the door. He could hear Jimmy’s footsteps echo one after another down the empty hollow hall.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

The Heavenly Find


The provided prompt for this story: After being pulled over for speeding, your character finds something important while looking for her registration in the glove compartment.
I really enjoyed writing The Heavenly Find. Originally I made a list of the first ideas that came to mind for the mysterious glove compartment object but I rested on two in particular. Torn between the two ideas I consulted with my mom - my go-to person for everything. She preferred one and I the other! :) I began with the idea I favored and then changed to the one my mother preferred - the story below. I hope that you feel the love when reading this one. <3 Thanks for stopping by!
The Heavenly Find
It was the anniversary of her husband’s passing.
Ruth hadn’t slept a wink all night; she simply stared at his side of the bed – cold and in want of his warmth.
“I miss you darling. I know it’s been eight years but I can’t get you out of my head … or my heart.” She held an old locket to her cheek – the locket she had worn since Samuel gave it to her on their first wedding anniversary. It now contained a picture of Sam and another portrait of their four children.
Opening the gold heart she kissed his picture. Every year on this date she remembered his powerful words. In her heart she knew the words he had left her with were also a message from God.
Willing her tired, old body out of bed she fetched a cup of coffee - anything to stall the tears that would inevitably pour on this sad day. With the warm mug in her hands she sat at her treasured antique desk that overlooked her abundant flower and vegetable garden. The birds chirped gaily, careless of her grief. The world went on as it always did.
There she sat for most of the day ignoring phone calls from friends offering their sympathy and love. They would be at the party tonight – she would thank them then.
Every year the family gathered to celebrate Samuel’s life. Their eldest child was hosting the event this year. They’d review old pictures and laugh over funny childhood stories. Ruth would talk about the loving but stubborn husband she’d adored for decades. She would speak of how they met even though everyone knew the story well. And together they would send messages to Heaven to let Sam know he was not forgotten.
The day seemed to escape from Ruth – her thoughts had captivated her. It was time to go.
As she sped to her eldest son’s home she muttered to herself: “Always late – always!” They were going to start soon and she didn’t want them waiting on her.
Her eyes had adjusted to the dark road with intermittent lamp posts when the bright flashes of red and blue stung her vision.
“Oh no! Not tonight!” She cried.
The police officer followed pursuit and she slowed onto the narrow gravel shoulder.
She immediately explained to the officer that she was rushing to a tribute for her late husband.
The officer was young and had a kind face. He explained that he understood and that he would have her on her way as soon as possible. However, he still required her license and registration.
Flustered that this was happening today of all days she searched through the glove compartment with unsteady hands. She lectured herself on not keeping its contents more organized.
Finally she located the registration and yanked it out. She heard something solid ding the inside of the passenger side door and then fall to the soft cushion of the seat. Ignoring the sound momentarily she retrieved her license.
“Thank you, Ruth.” The officer carried the items back to the patrol car.
She switched on the light inside to chase away the mass of darkness. Something glimmered on the seat next to her. It was small but shined generously.
A gasp escaped her lips. Her body trembled but she reached for the stowaway.
Sam’s wedding band; it was as new as the day she had purchased it. Ruth held it in the palm of her hand and stared in awe. “Oh, Sammy…” she sobbed. He was ready for her to meet him in Heaven.
On his dying bed he had told her that when it was her time she would find his wedding band. That was her calling. It was time to go.
The officer approached her window again. “You’re all set ma’am. Given that this is a tough day for you we’ll let the speeding slide with a warning. Please slow down.” He tipped his hat to her. “I’m very sorry for your loss.” And with that he was gone.
Ruth would miss this life. She would miss her children and grandchildren.
But her Sammy needed her now.
Ruth passed away in a peaceful sleep that night and drifted to Heaven to be with her love; their souls could dance together again – the life they built to be left behind in the hands of their beloved children.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

New Short Story: "2 Best Friends…and A Wife?"

2 Best Friends…and A Wife?


Carter and Will met at the ripe young age of 14 – just before their High School years began. Youthful hormones had them lusting after every woman they saw. Girls at school. Teachers. Nurses. Any woman was fair game.
Girls! Girls! Girls! That’s all the adolescents thought about.
High School gave them an insight to girls they thought they’d never know. Both popular and the captains of school sports teams – Carter with Soccer and Will with Football – they quickly attracted the popular girls and the girls who yearned to be popular.
Through the ages of 14 to 18 Carter and Will certainly found their experiences, shared their experiences, and they even documented their experiences.
Their book, dubbed “The Ranks”, held the details of each girl they had slept with. It included a picture, a description of the girl and the … welllll, the assets … what had occurred, and in the end she was ranked. The rank was based on the overall amazingness of the girl.
The book was kept a secret between the two of them throughout their high school years. Luckily. Naturally they knew they were pigs but they were boys after all and so they acted like boys.
College loomed near – they were afraid their manhood would be neglected and ignored; that their popularity would falter and they’d become nerds resorting to watching online porn together every night.
What if college girls were different? Would they even have time for girls? Wait – there was always time for girls. Blasphemy! They were determined to get what they wanted from the college experience.
Ah college – a time in life where you certainly have the opportunity to top all of your prior intimate experiences.
Carter and Will did their due diligence in researching colleges and universities. They decided on one that appealed to both of their needs and wants. They were accepted to a university in sunny, beachy South Florida; the university was well known with a reputation of endless parties … and somewhere in there was the opportunity for a fantastic educational opportunity.
Fall of the freshman year came around and classes began. That year was far from uneventful. Carter and Will were smart – they easily navigated through their classes. They even found girls. Actually the girls found them.
The two best friends quickly became notorious for holding the best dorm parties. And where the best parties were – the hottest girls were. The girls in the miniskirts sans underwear. The shy girls that were silently begging to be corrupted. Girls that were really just out looking for a good time. And inevitably – the girls that wanted to find “the one.”
For two years they earned their grades and pushed through countless women. Life was good. Life was great. They were always sated yet ready for more. That is, until Carter fell in love. Her name was Ronnie and they were perfect together. The couple was popular, ambitious, and destined to be successful.
Will wanted his wingman back but he supported his best friend – even though he felt Ronnie wasn’t a good fit for Carter. She didn’t have all of the qualities that they had grown up wanting in a woman. A list of qualities that they’ve developed over the years as they’ve grown older. He kept his mouth shut though – because it was obvious his friend was head over heels and wouldn’t even hear anything otherwise.
Carter and Ronnie dated throughout the last two years of college. A few nights before graduation Will and Carter ventured out to celebrate the end of their college experience. Life was flying by and they were happy, excited, and ready to test their skills in the real world.
That night Carter dropped the bomb. He planned to propose to Ronnie the next evening.  
“What?!” Will said after spitting his beer across the bar. The news obviously took him off guard.
“What? Really? You’re shocked by this? How is that even possible? Ronnie and I have dated for two years now – its time to take the relationship to the next level.”
“This will change everything, man!”
“It was inevitable, Will. Come on. Grow up.”
“She’s not even our type!”
“Oh. Our type? Our type?”  Carter set his glass of jack on the rocks down on the bar. “You’re right. She’s not our type.”
Will sighed in relief. “Exactly! I’ve been dying to say that for months.” He laughed and ordered another Yuengling.
Carter stood and left cash for the bartender. “Really. Well here’s news for you buddy. She’s my type.  And that’s all I care about. I’m getting engaged whether you like it or not.” He slapped his good friend on the back, “See you later wingman.”
Will didn’t say a word; instead he drank the night away and even picked up a cougar as they both stumbled out of the bar. She was a divorcee with two kids. Great personality. He definitely planned to take her back to the dorm room.
Carter wouldn’t be there. He would definitely be over at Ronnie’s cowering like a whipped fool, especially after Will had ruined his “good” news. He was certain, though, that Ronnie just wasn’t right for Carter. After all, he’d known Carter a lot longer than Ronnie did.
Whatever, Will thought. This isn’t going to spoil my night. He wants the whole ball and chain deal that’s fine with me.
The cougar and Will were sharing a bottle of whisky as they staggered towards the dorm.  They laughed at each other’s slurred words. Neither cared if anyone saw them – this was a usual scene anyways. Guys were always bringing back “bar chicks” to their dorm rooms.
They were feverishly and drunkenly making out and eventually made it through the door only to see Carter sitting on the chaise lounge with his own party in a bottle and sappy love music playing on his iPod.
“Hey! Carter! What are you doing here? I thought you were with Roooonie.” Will and the cougar laughed.
“Yeah. I was. I suppose you two want some alone time so I’ll go.”
“No. Wait.” Will grabbed the sleeve of his shirt.
“Okaaaay. I’m ready!” The cougar was standing in her bra and panties. “Are you staying toooooo?” She pointed at Carter and smiled. “Well, I’ve always wanted to do a three-way! Yeah!”
Will put his arm around her and spoke in his soft, charming, inebriated voice. “Listen… what’s your name again?”
“Oh. It’s Lina. Like Linda without the ‘d’ ya know?”
“Ah Lina. Well, you see, my friend here needs me. But I want to make sure you get home safely. Do you want a taxi? Or do you have someone that can pick you up?”
“Noooooo!” The cougar whined. She sounded just like the immature college freshmen girls. “I want to have fuuuun.”
A whistle interrupted their conversation. Will’s next door buddy, a nerdy type that frequently tutored the college athletes, stood in the doorway and raised his hand. “I’ll take care of her guys. No worries!” He truly was a good guy so he meant it when he said he’d take care of her.
Reluctant to give up the hot mom, Will looked at Carter and then back at the cougar. He said to Carter, “Do you see what you’re costing me?”
The nerd extended his hand like a gentleman and Lina was delighted. “Woot! What manners young man! Ooookaaaaay. Let’s go have fun.” She screamed in joy.
Will shut the door to the room and poured them each a whiskey on the rocks to drink.
“What’s wrong, Carter?” Will sat at the desk that was nearby the chaise lounge.
Silence. Carter drank and Will waited patiently for an explanation good enough to justify passing off his late night booty call.
“I went to see Ronnie tonight. I know I was planning on seeing her tomorrow and I knew she already had plans tonight with the girls but after the argument with you I needed to see her.” Carter wandered the room now holding the glass of liquid pain relief.  “I have a key and usually walk right in if there’s not a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door. So the sign wasn’t there and I walked in. And what do you think I see?”
“I have a vague idea of what you might have seen but tell me anyways.”
“She was dressed in some ridiculous bunny outfit with Dirk, the teacher’s aide from our statistics class last semester.”
Will burst out laughing. “Dirk? Ewwwwwwwwwwww. That’s just wrong! Out of all the guys…”
“You’re not helping…”
“I’m sorry. What was up with the bunny outfit?”
“Like I said, man, really – you’re not helping.”
“I am. See?” Will replenished Carter’s glass.
“Right. Thanks.” He downed that glass just as quickly and Will followed him fulfilling his duty as best friend. “She cheated on me Will. Actually she’s been cheating on me for months. Then she confessed to having this fetish of being a cute little bunny turned naughty. Where was this side of her the whole time we were dating! She kept it hidden from me. And Dirk! UGH! Of all people!” Carter sat in his original spot, his head in his hands.
Will stifled his urge to laugh. “Carter. You know what I want to hear right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well?”
“Can you not take a moment to feel the pain your best friend is feeling, Will?”
Will pondered for a moment and came up with a solid, “Nope.”
“Okay. You were right.”
“About?”
“About Ronnie not being right for me.”
“I tried to tell ya.”
“Yes. But…”
“But what?”
“You didn’t foresee the bunny fetish and affair with the pimply, chubby teacher’s aide who worships Marvel comic book heroes.”
Will chuckled. “You’ve got a point there. I was on the right track though.”
“I’m sorry you were.” Carter pulled the engagement ring out of his pocket.
Will went to sit next to him and said, “I’m sorry too, Carter. In all seriousness, I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you. I know how much you loved Ronnie.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Now. I have a proposal for you.”
“This isn’t really the time for jokes.”
“What jokes?” Will grinned. “Okay – that pun was intended but look...” He pulled out their old and worn notebook, “The Ranks.”
“I’m not in the mood to go through the book right now.”
“Oh come on. Listen to what I have to say. It relates to your misfortune.”
“Okay. Fine.”
Will flipped to the back where the list of admirable female qualities was recorded. The list that dictated their perfect woman.
“The list. What about it?” Carter asked uncaringly.
“Ok so here’s my thought. We both came up with this list. This list describes the perfect woman. For both of us. From our years of dating experiences I think it’s logical to say that there aren’t two women out there that represent exactly what we want. We’ve dated younger women, older women, all kinds. We’ve found some okay ones and some great ones but not two perfect, similar women that were just what we wanted. If we were each going to find the mythical ‘one’ I think we would’ve found them by now.”
“Are you getting to a point soon? I’m thinking about passing out drunk now and maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up and find that tonight was a dream.”
“We need a wife.”
“Excuse me, what?” Carter gave up on the glass and moved on to the bottle.
“You heard me.”
“You mean wiiiiives?”
“No. Wife. Singular. One. Uno.” He paused and held his breath. “To share.”
Carter burst out laughing. “What? Share a wife? Isn’t that called … oh I don’t know … polygamy?”
“Uh well we’ve shared girlfriends before.” They both paused to recall the unforgettable moments.
Carter laughed. “Yeah we have. You’re right.”
“I usually am.”
“I don’t know. This seems a little far-fetched doesn’t it?”
“No. It will be monumental though. And with the publicity and the media and controversy we won’t have to find jobs after graduation. We’ll just write a book. Ha! We’ll be famous!”
“Then why’d we come to college and earn degrees in the first place?”
“For the girls…do I have to think of everything?”
“You forget, wingman, adultery isn’t exactly legal…is it?”
“We’ll work it out, brother. Tomorrow we talk more.”
College graduation was an exciting time. But now was when their lives would become more interesting than they had ever expected.
It all began with a short, sweet, and simple personal ad; nothing romantic like the ad in the Pina Coladas song.
Two best friends SWMs (single white males)
looking for one (repeat – One) SWF
to date and eventually marry both SWMs.
Please submit interview video and
answer questions on web address as follows…

At first they only received hits from the haggard, desperate, worn out women and it really dampened Will’s hopeful spirits. Carter, on the other hand, let his friend press on even though he wasn’t supportive of this scheme.
“Allie!” Will blurted out. He and Carter were barbequing by the pool of their new rental.
“What about her?” Carter replied while flipping the burgers.
“She got a job with a Marketing or PR firm or something like that – didn’t she?”
“Yep. Local.”
“Then we’ll have to enlist her help, my friend.” Will smiled his devilish attractive smile. “She can help promote our ad.”
“She hates you.”
His smile faltered. “Agreed.”
“Who else is there?”
“Wait – what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Allie loves you!”
“Yeah because I’m the only guy that hasn’t tried to sleep with her.” Carter closed the grill and grabbed an ice cold beer. “She’s my friend, Will. And you screwed her over … literally.”
“That was a long time ago. And we were both inebriated thank you very much.”
“She’ll never agree to this.”
“She will – but you’ll have to turn on the charm. She likes you, man.”
“No she doesn’t.”
“Trust me - she does. You can’t tell?”
“We’re friends. I don’t look at her like you do.”
“Will you please ask her?”
“This idea is crazy. And immature. We’re going to look like fools.” Carter chugged the rest of his beer. “And I’m really going to regret this.”
Will’s head snapped up faster than a bolt of lightning. “So you’ll help right?”
“Yeah that’s what the regret part means…”
“Fantastic. Tomorrow then. Take her to lunch or something.”
“I know how to handle a woman, Will. Especially Allie.”
Unfortunately Allie caught wind of the ad they had placed and called Carter to find out exactly what was going on.
It wasn’t a pretty situation for Carter to handle. Allie was angry. Actually ‘angry’ is an understatement.
“What do you mean she’s not friends with you anymore?” Will asked incredulously.
“This scam is over, Will. She’s right. It’s absurd. I’m going to stop by her place this evening and see if she has an ounce of forgiveness for me.”
“Oh I see what’s happening here.”
“I can’t wait to hear your conclusion.” Carter answered sarcastically.
“1. You’re bailing on your best friend for a girl – again. And 2. You like Allie.”
“I’m not bailing. And Allie is a friend.”
“Okay – you really need to start trusting me.”
A knock on the door interrupted the tête-à-tête. Will answered to a vivacious redhead. “Well hello beautiful.”
“Hi. I see you put in a personal ad for a wife?”
We did.”
“Well I am interested.” She walked straight in. “I need this to get my name out.”
“Why’s that?” Carter asked uninterestedly.
“Because I run a blog on stuffing conventionalism you know where. Questioning tradition and society’s rules is what I do best. This is the very thing that could relay the example I’m trying to set for the community.”
“Fascinating.” Carter speed dialed Allie.
Meanwhile Will questioned the candidate, the seemingly perfect wife for two. He was ecstatic.
“You meet all of our criteria. Now the question is: are you willing to … you know … with both of us? Do we meet your standards?”
“Oh. Both? Right. I suppose that is entailed in a marriage. Sure. Why not? But we’ll have to set terms for that.”
“No problem.” Will jabbed Carter in the shoulder. “Well? Do you like …”
“Prudence.”
“Do you like Prudence, Carter?”
“Are you actually serious about this? Yes I like her. She’s beautiful. She seems smart …”
She is standing right here.” Prudence placed her hands on her hips.
“Right. But truthfully, Will, she kind of scares me.”
“What?” Prudence and Will answered simultaneously.
“Look – why don’t you two get to know each other and Will, don’t forget you have to figure out how and who will allow a marriage for the three of us. Good luck. I’m going to pick up Allie.”
“Who’s Allie?” Prudence asked, flinging her long red hair over her shoulder.
“A friend, Prudence. You don’t have to worry about me cheating just yet. See ya.”
Carter slammed the door.
“Well he’s cranky.” She mumbled.
“Forget him. How about a drink?”
“Okay.” She flashed a perfect smile and Will swore his heart skip a beat. That just didn’t happen to him. Ever. “I know a great place.”
Will and Prudence arrived at a sophisticated French restaurant downtown. As they were receiving their starter drinks they noticed Carter walking in. With Allie.
“Hey! Carter! Over here!” Will shouted in the dining area.
Carter instantly turned an angry shade of red. He intended to turn the other way but Will made such a scene that he had to walk to the table to get him to shut up. The other diners were thankful for the peace once again.
“Fool! You’re in a restaurant. Have some manners.”
“Come join us.” Will smiled.
“Yes. Please do.” Prudence wasn’t as thrilled with the idea. And apparently neither was Allie.
A brief squabble between Allie and Carter occurred across the room but eventually Carter brought her back to the table with him.
“Heyyyy Allie. How are you?” Will rose to greet her but she sat without acknowledging his gesture.
“Pig.” One word, one syllable with a dangerous undertone was all she gave him.
“Hi Allie, my name is Prudence.”
“Hello. Nice to meet you. I hear you’re the finest candidate for the marriage to two.” Allie smiled sarcastically.
Carter kicked her under the table.
“Ow! Carter! I’m sorry but it’s true. I cannot believe you two are going along with this. And you, Prudence, - by the way your hair is beautiful and I’m so jealous – you should be ashamed of yourself.”
“Thanks. I guess?” Prudence tucked her hair behind her ears.
Will ordered a bottle of red wine.
“I’m not drinking.” Allie pushed back.
“Please. No matter who agrees and who doesn’t can we all try to have a fun time tonight? Hmm?” Will poured the red into each glass.
They all conceded.
Surprisingly enough it was one of the best times every one of them had had in some time.
By the end of the night they laughed and put down five bottles of wine and in the end a bottle of port with dessert.
Allie and Prudence were best friends by the end of the evening and hugged each other in parting.
Carter and Allie took a taxi to her place where he would drop her off and Will walked Prudence back to her place which was nearby.
Carter and Will planned to meet back at home for a night cap.
That was the plan.
The next morning came around. Carter was hungover beyond all belief and didn’t know what he would tell Will as an excuse for not coming home last night. Allie was sweet enough to send him off with two Motrin and a coke – that always helped with his hangover blues.
Rubbing his face and preparing for Will’s wrath from being sold out for a girl, Carter took a deep breath before opening the door.
“Hey man. I’m sorry I didn’t make it back last ni …” Carter stopped when he realized he was alone.
At that same moment Will breezed through the door. “Hey!”
They stood staring at each other – each a hungover hot mess. Tousled hair and clothes in disarray.
“Did you ...?” They spoke at the same time and pointed at each other.
“Um maybe.” Carter answered.
“Me too.” Will smiled.
They both sat.
“What happened exactly?” Carter asked.
Will couldn’t stop smiling.
“Oh no. You fell for Prudence didn’t you?! In one night? How is that possible? For you especially.”
“For your information she likes to be called Prue.”
Carter set the coffee machine to brew. “Answer me.”
“Ok. Maybe. I think so. I don’t know.” Will laughed and said, “Do you see what happened here?”
“Yeah – Prue is gorgeous and you hooked up with her.”
“Yes it was amazing. But look past that. Don’t you see that my genius idea brought Prue to us? Or me, I should say?”
“I see that. But here’s the problem. When she came here she anticipated marrying both of us. So is that plan null and void now?”
“I’m not sharing Prue with you.”
“Will, I don’t want her. She’s more your type than mine anyways.”
“We have a similar type.”
“Obviously not anymore.”
“Ahhh I see. I’m catching up now. You and Allie. Man I’m right a lot.” Will grabbed his coffee and got comfortable on his bed. “Ok I’m ready.”
“Ready for…?”
“The details of course.”
“Not a chance in hell. We’re not exchanging details. Allie is … important. I wouldn’t do that to her.” Carter loaded his coffee with sugar.
“Yeah yeah. Prue was the best ever. Just saying.”
“Anyways. What are you going to do about this whole situation? Are you going to admit to Prue that the idea to find us one single wife was a ridiculous, preposterous idea (not to mention illegitimate) and that you really do like her? And maybe, I don’t know, you might just want to take her out on a date?”
“That’s where this gets complicated. This morning she asked if we’re still on for this whole deal.”
“And you said no right?”
“I panicked. I didn’t know what else to say. She caught me off guard. I figured she’d be a girl about the morning after deal but she wasn’t. She was completely cool about it all.”
“Oh boy.”
“What do I do?”
“I have a great idea.” Carter began mockingly. “You tell her the truth.”
“Then I run the possibility of losing her because she wanted to do this in order to support her position against tradition. I’d be a sham.”
“It’s possible. But you’d have to tell her eventually because I’m not following through with it. I have Allie now.”
“You have her now?”
“Well, we’re dating I mean. Formally.”
Will walked over and patted him on the back. “Finally.”
“Huh?”
“It’s about time. I’d always thought she was perfect for you. Unlike Scrawny Ronnie.”
“How’d you know?”
“Because she’s anorexic. Everybody knows.”
“No, I mean how did you know Allie was perfect for me?”
“Because you can act like yourself around her and she is your best friend – second to me.”
“Naturally.”
“I suppose I’ll tell Prue.”
“Smart move.”
Will’s cell phone begged loudly for attention.
“Yello…” Will smiled. “Hey Prue, how are you? … Oh good … I was going to call you actually to see if you … what? What’s wrong? … Oh. Right. … Okay I’ll meet you there. … Yep … See ya.”
“What was that all about?” Carter questioned.
“She sounded pretty upset. Said she really wants to do this whole marry two guys thing but the feedback she got on her blog (she was testing out the idea with her readers) was really negative and she wasn’t sure if it would work out because her reader’s voices are so important to her.” Will finally took a breath after spilling the entire explanation.
“Soo…” Carter motioned for the rest of the story.
“So she wants to meet at Starbucks to talk about it.”
“To talk about it…”
“That’s what she said. I aint saying no.” Within minutes Will brushed back his hair, gurgled Listerine, and changed his clothes. He grabbed his wallet and on his way out the door he yelled back, “I’ll let you know how it goes!”
Walking into Starbucks, Will noticed her right away. Her red hair beckoned every eye in the café.  As soon as she saw him she smiled hugely.
“Hey Prue.”
“Hey.”
At first the meeting was awkward. Will was sweating from the building tension.
“I have to tell you something Prue.”
“I have something to tell you too.”
“Really? I mean, of course you do. You sounded really upset on the phone. What is it?”
“This whole marriage thing … I really want to …”
“Look before you continue. We can’t go through with it. Carter and Allie are in love. It took them forever to realize they’re right for each other and it wouldn’t exactly be fair to push this deal on them.”
“And what about you?” She smirked.
“Me?”
“Yeah. Are you in love?”
He blushed. He actually blushed. “I never thought I’d say this but … yes, I think I am. I might be in love with this beautiful redhead with a diamond smile.”
Prue’s smile lit up the room. “Do you think she feels the same way?” She sipped her hot latte slowly leaving a solid lipstick print on the lid.
“I don’t know. She may not after I broke off a deal that she was gung-ho on following through. I’m afraid she won’t have any interest in me. You know, she’s all about being nontraditional and, well, a relationship and the whole love at first meeting thing are pretty traditional.”
“Most of what I said about that ridiculous marriage idea wasn’t true.” She winced, waiting for him to catch on.
“What? You lied? Am I being Punked?” Will glanced around the coffee shop jokingly.
“Yes … and no. None of it was true. I just wanted to meet you – for a while now but you were always dating someone and you never noticed me.”
“How could I have not noticed you, Prue?” Will felt like a fool for missing this intelligent beauty throughout the span of four college years.
She laughed. “You know, I thought the same thing. Funny how bizarre plans can sometimes lead to what you need.”
“You are so right.” He extended his hand to her. “Shall we?”
“We shall.”  She returned the same cheesy romantic smile that he was giving her.


“I think it’s about time we tossed this. Don’t you?” Carter asked Will as they sat with their girls on a picnic blanket while viewing the old adolescent book, “The Ranks,” that used to be their prized possession.
“No way.” Prue spoke up.
“Yeah I agree with Prue. That’s something you should keep. But…it needs a proper closing.” Allie playfully nudged Will.
“I like that. Like a ‘happy ever after’ ending.” Carter put his arm around his love.
The girls smiled their pretty smiles and inevitably won. But Will and Carter were just as happy to keep a piece of them, of the way they used to be. And it would serve as a reminder for their most ludicrous and outlandish idea of all time – of finding a single wife to put up with the formerly insatiable best friends.